random thoughts which are getting very sad

'i have seen this land more than others
i have gone the distance
i may be behind time and others
but i am going to finish my race my own pace, my own pace'


the friends you meet along the way will inspire you to finish your race

does that mean leaving your old friends behind?

yeah i wanna leave all my ghosts in the closet... i don't want to be reminded of the bad times... meeting them equals to facing my fear of failures and reject all over again

the suaning might have stopped.... but things will nv be the same again....
somehow i am always reminded of the past.
i am so sorry but i can't think of the good times, perhaps from the start there was nth to start with

scar in life has caused me to be more vigilant towards ppl... to be more introvert...

and it shows.... even the team is starting to complain i am too quiet and not communicating enough.

i love my teammates... every single one of them.

eddy and dan who i train with 4 times a week.
dan is always sharing all his crap and success in life... really admire that guy... $40 K a mth at age of 21, getting married at 24

eddy is jaded man...he is full of theories which are yet to be proven... always out to con ppl...

JOO is always on the look out for me.... always humble... sharing his knowledge and exp...says a lot for the no.1 in singapore

vick for always poking my ass with all her challenges

Ron.... though of a older generation.. all his sex life and stupid comments really make a diff in trg

chee kian's love for food brings humour all the time

coach is a nice chap who really looks after me... i always look forward to sat trg cos of him

then the more older riders like mal, sia, edwin(the cyclist cum golf members) who have lots of wealth and life exp to share. money really is the world man....

then finally.... bogay and john.... without them... whr was there a goal to work foward to in the first place....

i really enjoying myself now.... i hope this team will go on forever...
but somehow i feel neglecting my other friends in life is all wrong.... even though i feel is better for me

jaded