parents are real irritating sometimes

ronnie yap told me once that i shd nv call myself stupid or ask questions why am i borned like that- small shoulders, funny stomach.
he says it will be injustice to parents who gave birth to you.

ha my boss can be so wise and yet foolish at times

i just had my dinner and my mom makes the comment that i shd learn to save.

i was absolutely DU LAN.... but i beared with it :)

me- spend lots of money?

K that i agree... but it is to support my dreams wat.... not say i spend it on clubbing, pubbing or girls


then she will blabber on with children having to support parents at a young age... children of next door neighbour need to work

i somehow got this urge to blurt out

,"you think they so good... go adopt them loh."


i realise how my parents and I have gone thru evolution.

like creatures who need to chnage thier skin colour, have some certain characteristics to avoid danger... i have developed some of my own along the way

when i was in pri sch... my mom has this tendency to compare me with other children of the same class.
i always felt inferior to them...
which led to lack of confidence when i grow up, till date i still have this prob.
my bro was the bench mark, so anything lousier than wat he did i will deem to be not trying my best.


my mom will always make comments like i iwish my son will be more like your son, he always cannot study one.... in front of my friend some how, which is sth they always disc me about

so u can probably picture me as a fat nerd back in pri sch who can't fend for himself, don't do sports... the only sport i do was skipping???
all these started to stop in sec sch when i decided that i will not let my parents know any of my friends.- evolution


but then once in a while she will always call up those 'so called friends/ mothers' of hers and the comparison starts again.

cos of that, i was damn determined to show her that i will make her proud of me one day.
i joined choir( even to my disliking, cos she like me to), but in the ende no matter how i detest it became president.
i took part in lots of australian quiz.... i always remember the high distinction award i get hhahah. thats the only academic success which was real ty co i am proud of

and i will cook up some cock story to impress her... majority are like not true
like how some girl at concert will try to get my ph no.
that was so dumb!
they will only do that if
1) they are ugly
2) they are despo

cos look at me... i was a round ball then who probably look like someone weird with hidden agenda


so i didn't go to VJ, land up in tp... which wasn't so bad cos my bro landed up in that freak sch too.

when i reach 17, that was when my father's rubbish started to start.
he ask me why i waste time in track.

shd spend more time studying.... be a good choir boy

so ever since i started JC, i began to relate less and less to them
yah i was close to my parents, or rather i force myself to be so they will not worry bout me,

95 % of our conversation is all cock up story
like how i meet good friends like mel, xuan drew who i will always study with
like huh? i don't remember we 4 studying b4... even if we do, i think nth reach my brain.

and like how i enjoy choir
pls... i always have this desire to burn the place down hahahaa( at times.... )

maybe thats why i enjoy myself in army, nth and no one to compare with...
but i always think they will rather i become a office boy.

last straw came when my father told me that i am spending too much time cycling.... i shd concentrate on uni( even b4 i enter??), and that he is not proud of wat i doing now.

that was when i became freaking pissed off!

like wat the fuck.,.. i am you son man.
u think i do things to make you happy one ahh?

thats why i figure i am so close to my team in the first place... cos they take care of me, they are like brothers, sisters and fathers i nv had.

which explains my high tolerance level as well... nth can be compared to my parents nonsense man

u know sth i wish someone tell me why i was borned into this family. seriously... i am dysfunctional.
i totally don't belong here