me and my faith

today's 'mind your body' had a very disturbing article.

it reads "My Special Child-Bitter Sweet Laughter"

The girl-symphony was diagnosed with Angelman syndrome when she was a baby.


Its a kind of illness which slows down the baby's growth.

as the child grows up, he/ she will exp speech impairment, motor delay, movement seizure and behavioural uniqueness.... and she will have exceptional happiness or excitemeny, hyperactivism and short attention span.

in short... she looks like a happy child to everyone but she is actually suffering within.

i feel quite uneasy by the way the mother react to the illness.

as written in the newspaper-
" i get angry and depressed at the thought that i was born to suffer bitterness all my life while my daughter is here to enjoy life with ppl looking after. the buddhist says-Karma is the word-you pay for sins of your previous life. so have we done something bad to symphony previously to deserve our current lives?"

in short

disgusting

how can a parent think in such a manner.

when i first read article, i wanted to call up the newspaper to tell them of their poor quality control of wats written in it.

its even more saddening to hear of a grown up blaming the world for wat she been thru.


and i ponder on the question of faith again

one thing i nv acknowledge myself for being a buddhist becos i somehow feel quite turn off by the way the religion portrays itself.

every chi new yr.... u see tons and tons of chi around the world rushing into the temple to put the 1st joss stick, cos legend has it that the 1st person who puts the joss stick will be blessed with good luck.
how true is that? i only know that end of it all... there are bound to be ppl dying under a stanpede caused by the crowd rushing to be the 1st.

then.... it comes the praying part.
thr is always this saying... if u have bad luck... u have poor health... pray to guangyin and she will bless you.

when i was younger... i always ask my mom," if everyone pray to guang yin... why everyone still so poor?"

and when i was older... i wanted to own the temple one day. why? cos i heard that thier takings for donation in a day is as high as $1 million.


why i don't agree with how this religion is portrayed to me is as such-

unlike muslims and christians who ahve classes held for teaching of its principles, mine doesn't come with this package.
christians were baptised at birth... i just need to go temple to give donations... burn some papers... hear some chantings and presto... i am a buddhist

and worse still.. the older generations like to leave every thing to fate.

and most are not friendly. they will not do anything if it does them no good.

and when sth goes wrong... they will say,' haiz... pay back for my previous life."

and the best part... when there is a grand festival and i am made to go to the temple... u always see angry faces all around.

the crowd is so big... the squeezing and jostling is just like queueing up to get past the malaysia immigration pt.

shouldn't anything to do with religion be a happy affair?

if it doesn't make you a better person... doesn't take you away from your hectic life and make you ponder or think of stuff... then i think spending time thr serves no purpose at all

and as you know... i don't and never believe that my life is in the hands of someone i don't see.

no offence to anyone out there


so thats why i am not a good follower of my religion cos i am not convinced by everything done thr

kind to think of it... maybe its cos buddhism is made of ppl who are from the older generation.
they are not educated... they don't read philosophy and stuff... the only guidance they get is from friends at mahjong sessions or ppl at wet market

not being part of the globalisation train.. they are less receptive to changes and like everything the old way...

they do things for the sake of getting it done... they nv see the big picture
perhaps thats why they still believe in all the old beliefs.


i was quite happy when newspaper reported last week that there are more more youths who learn and study buddhism.

at least it shows there is goodness in it. :) and i hope to learn more bout it one day.