root for me

someone tell me that everything is going to be fine

someone tell me that fate is in my hands, there is no such thing as bad luck

someone tell me that there is no such thing as curse


someone tell me all will be well again

i hate the chi sayings that during this period of time u cannot go out or will have bad luck

u cannot attend funeral or will bad luck

this yr is bad yr for cows and all these shit


ppl say believe it is better

yeah but when shit goes wrong,
someone subconsciously use these thoughts to play with your mind

i always believe if u are doing something which is good... u don't have to be afraid of this thing called bad luck

i somehow lost faith in everything.

i was nv into buddhism, thats one reason why i am quite diff from rest of my family members

its not that i nv try
but maybe cos lang too cheem, and i know such things require a long time to understand, and i guess i was nv ready to devote my time and open my mind to new thoughts


i always believe in myself, leaving fate in my own hands
so mum always tell me its good to pray....
but along the yrs cos my prayers nv come thru...

so i decided to pray sincerely for other ppl
cos i didn't want to lose my faith in god
i still wanna retain my innocence that the world is beautiful cos god watch over us
and best part of praying for others is that u nv know if it will come true,
so i always take it as it will
i feel happy
i may save someone's life without knowing

somehow i lost the courage to ask for help
just when i need the light most
i don't know whr or who to turn to


why am i resentful towards everyone and everything around me


i have reached the bottomless pit of my life


and by drinking... sleeping at odd hours... spending rest of the day sleeping is not helping at all


but somehow i know its not time for my death
and i wanna fight on another day

the wierd part is that

if i were to be in a operation with 50/50 chance to survive,

chances are i will nv make it out alive

cos i simply don't have a will power to live when i am sub/unconscious


why?