i hate B days

i hate b days since young cos i nv get big birthday parties

i always dream of having a big pool side party...
but oh well that will nv be possible hahha
i always dreamt of pushing ppl down into the pool.. cos i am the b day boy... i am king.

i spent the last day of my 20yrs on this earth studying in a cubicle for 10 hrs... grilled by 5 NTU interviwers for 1hr.

somehow i feel my brain has failed me.

drew told me yest that thr is a theory that army slows down the brain by alot...
ye tell me man...
i studied my stuff 2 weeks back, today i forget 70% of it...

i am in such a mess.

i got no money...
need to result in selling off my 2nd bike...
wondering if i should also sell off by vintage bike ( fetch $200 u know)

and wow... my bro is gonna get a new car...

ye so my mom wanted my bro's 2nd hand honda civics to be my B day present...

but....

I turned it down.

why???

cos i got no money to pay for the petrol...

and the maintanence is like damn ex

i don't want to chauffer ppl around...

and i don't wanna drive car to the uni.

i am weird... aren't I??



Thank you weiling, drew and jin for celebrating my b day!!!
k la just a short dinner... but was cool.
i love thier company...
make my mundane life a happy one.

pork knuckles are real good...
ye fats gives u heart attack..

somehow i wish i died in my slp...
leaving my soul for a while will be nice too

why?
have u gone to a funeral... the body lie in the coffin. don't u think somehow whenever a person pass on... he looks so comfortable at his death bed...
i wanna be like that person man...
or maybe i just wanna leave this world for good


andrew said sth very interesting today... he said that i am just like his bro... doesn't wanna live on the parents...

i am the extreme case man.
i don't even treat my pop as if he exist.

somehow i feel my folks have ruined my life enough

some ppl ask," have u ever tried to be in thier shoes???.... sometimes u need to gain thier trust."

i guess i have given up on trying.

i think drew will understand... no matter how much u try to convince her(for my case him) that u know wat u want to do with your life... she will always think that u are young and wild...
and the situation always back fire for the worse

then your folks will quarrel over u... hack! mind as well don't even bring up the issue in the 1st place

i love my folks... but somehow maybe my way of love isn't conveyed properly... maybe
but i always back down my thoughts when i see my mom trying to stand up for me

i just hate it when she does that.
she is just so so sweet

i really don't want her to worry.but if i talk to her... it always surface the sad stuff... and i can't lie for nuts....
oh well these things sure make you more mature... makes u just wanna pack your bag, strike off on your own

i was just doing my own financial analysis today,
i want to leave house by 24...

a normal studio apartment is round $1000 a mth...
handphone bills- $36.40
food a week will be at $250
transport fee- $60 a week
liquidity assets... i have to stock an amt of $25K

which means if i start my internship....
i will have cash in a cheque of $1250 a mth for 4 yrs. this will only allow me to survive 4 mths after i graduate.

money money money... i hate money woes....

worst senario will be shipping myself to thailand, be ronnie yap's ka kia
but thats the last resort.


so wat if i gonna start working as a financial consultant?
its a proper job

unlike many ppl... i choose to foot my own bills... fund my biking and overseas trip...

yeah it is hard....cos the opportunity cost of it all is that u have to turn down outings during rainy days

but good side of it...
it gives a sense of satisfaction knowing that u are not living out of someone else's pocket.